I met Fiona tonight. She is seven. Fiona doesn't like her name because Fiona is also the name of the Ogre in Shrek. She seemed to perk up when I told her that 'Fiona the Ogre' was voiced by Cameron Diaz.

I asked Fiona what she was going to be when she grew up. A doctor? An astronaut? A scientist?

"I'm going to be a hot chick," said Fiona.

Fiona then produced her handbag which contained seven different types of glitter lipstick.

She also told me she had over £100 in the bank.

I asked Fiona's mother to tell Fiona to call me in twenty years time.